The term "Everything is Relative" really comes into play this weekend. It was a slam-bang weekend. It all started with *drumroll please* going to work at 9 am Saturday morning. I worked for seven hours, and on the way driving home, I actually felt pretty okay. I didn't feel like just coming home and curling into a ball. So I called my girlfriend, and said "Let's do something."
I got home, put some makeup on, and and we got ready to go. Now, this is two interesting things.
The first is putting makeup on. This used to be an everyday must for me. To even go to the grocery store, I was made up. Sweatpants were not for leaving the house. My hair was done. Now, I leave the house looking like I just rolled out of bed regularly. Before this evening I couldn't remember the last time I had a made up face that wasn't for an event like my sister's wedding. My theory back then was that making myself look a little better maybe would lead to me feeling a little better. Maybe it helped some, I managed to get through high school and college that way, although I didn't feel nearly as bad then as I do now. This led me to make a decision. No more slumming. Get up, change out of what I slept in. Brush my hair, and possibly put a little bit of makeup on. It doesn't have to put full fledged eye make-up and fully coiffed hair. It can just be brushed hair, with a little but of eye-liner and mascara. A little bit goes a long way they say.
The second interesting thing is the conundrum of where to go. From not working, there is a lack of money to go anywhere. We could go somewhere just for drinks, but I can't drink for my headaches. So we drove through the city for a bit, hoping to come across something interesting. Then it hit us... coffee! Technically I suppose I am not supposed to drink a lot of caffeine, but this is a rule I really cannot abide by. I am a caffeine addict, I admit, and trying to stop just really isn't an option to me. I like my coffee, I like my tea, I like my Mountain Dew. I am a slug and it gives me that extra push to get me off the couch long enough to pour myself another glass. One time my doctor told me that I should cut back to one caffeinated beverage a day in order to help control my tremor. I was in hell and I don't really feel like my tremor was helped at all.
By about 8:30 though I was worn out and we came home and watched a movie in bed. Despite being utterly exhausted, I didn't fall asleep until about 1am. And then I woke up at 6am, and keep waking up and falling asleep for about 15 minute intervals until about 11 when I gave up trying to get a decent sleep. My roommate and her boyfriend were out in the kitchen and she wanted pancakes, so we had pancakes and bacon, and hung out.
Then my girlfriend and I worked on some household chores-- cleaning and weatherproofing, since I live in and old, old house and it is a cold, cold winter. We had to go to a store to get some items for weather proofing. And here is a problem. I took two wrong turns to get to the store that I have been to many times before and is not too far from my house. I know how to get there. I am not sure what made me get lost getting there, but I find it concerning. I recently changed my medications. I was taken off of my Prozac and Ativan (Lorazapam) and put on Cymbalta 60 mg. I don't know if this is the cause, or if there is another reason. Another problem is that I was trying to take my shower curtain down to wash it and I could not get the shower curtain rings to open; I was not strong enough. I had to have my girlfriend, savior that she is, do it. I am losing strength still. Then another friend came over and we got pizza and talked for a while, and then we played cards until about 11, and then we all went to bed by midnight. Again, I fell asleep around 1-1:30.
