Woke up at 7:00 today. Pain was a 7 when I woke up.Today was going to be quite a busy day, with three appointments, the chiropractor, pain management, and my psychologist, Liz. I ate Honeycombs for breakfast and took my AM vitamins. I took a shower to get ready to go.
At around 8:30 I got a call from Pain Management. This was going to be my initial appointment, a consultation to see what can be done. However, they have not received my records from the headache center where I am treated, so they needed to cancel my appointment. Apparently they need the records in order to have the appointment. I find this immensely irritating at both ends. I did call the headache center and ask them to send my records. Although they only had about three working days to send the records and they do move rather slowly there. Also, I find it annoying that I know what treatments I have had and I know what has been tried; why are the records so important if I know this? I can tell the doctor what has been tried. I am trying not to be upset about it and trying not to stew on it, it will get me no where but upset and feeling worse, but still I am irritated.
I went to the chiropractor and I also went to Costco during this trip. The chiropractor did not make me feel better like it usually does, but it also did not make me feel any worse. My mom drove me and then we went to Costco and looked around there a bit. I got some Christmas gifts for people there.
I came home and took a bath to relax a little bit. Then I was lying on the couch, watching TV, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the mindlessness is good for these days. Called the headache center to find out what is going on with the hospital; am I able to go sooner or not? The scheduler called in sick today so we need to wait until tomorrow to find out. I find this again irritating. They have one person that is capable of scheduling? The entire setup just seems highly inefficient.
My pain level now is a high eight, I think because I am getting frustrated and am anxious about whether or not I will go to the hospital this week or next week, and I don't know completely what to expect when I am in the hospital. I am trying not to get upset or anxious about it, but am not really doing a good job at it.
I went to see Liz, my psychologist, and that was relatively eventful. I have not seen her for quite a while; I had to cancel my last appointment with her because I was going to the ER for a bag migraine. Shocker. I caught her up on what has been going on. I expressed my frustration with the headache center I am using. She asked if there are any others in the area I can go to and I said I am getting a referal to another one that is a little bit further away; I'll call this one Headache Center Number 2.
We also discussed my anxiety about applying to graduate schools and applying for jobs. My mom came in for a little bit of the session (she was waiting in the waiting room for me since I still am not driving) and talked about this with us. At that point she wanted me to apply for jobs that were a little higher in position, and apply for graduate school. While my mom was in the session we also talked about the fact that I often times get headaches when there are things that need to be done, like applying for jobs or graduate school, perhaps as a way to retreat and as an avoidance mechanism. My mom then left the session and Liz and I continued to talk.
It is very likely that my headaches are an avoidance mechanism, although I'm not really sure what to do about that since its not something I consiously do; I'll have to work with Liz on that. And I talked to Liz and then talked to my mom and we came to a compromise. I will apply to a couple of local graduate schools and one graduate school that I am interested in that is further away (about three and a half hours away), and I will maintain the job I have right now, because they are being so great about me needing time off for my headaches, and really, I won't find another job that is so supportive of that. So that takes a lot of pressure off of me, because I did feel very stressed I think about trying to find another job. Now I have school to think about, but not applying for another job, so I should feel considerably less stressed. I hope.
Liz also thinks I should see a psychiatrist.... She thinks it would be better for me to have a specialist controlling my medications rather than just a family doctor. I am going to print out a list of providers that are covered by my insurance and then take them to my next session so that she can recommend one. I think there is a psychiatrist at the hospital, although it probably makes sense to have one that I see on a regular basis as well.
When I got home from Liz' I was feeling not very well at all; around a 9. I took my meds, with a Zyprexa, had dinner, and went to bed.
AM vitamins taken, benedryl for akathisia, PM meds taken, with a Zyprexa.
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